Online Dating Guide for Women
Online dating, a buzz these days, how to get connected, when to get connected or the guy is right for me, these all questions pop up when we registered ourselves in any dating sites. More specifically, I’m going to talk about how to find great guys on internet dating sites. Now, I can hear some of you ladies groaning already, there are really awesome guys on dating websites. Lots of them are looking for right partner. The key is to weed out all the weirdos and fake profiles, and hone in on the ones that are actually worth your time. Even if you’ve tried online dating in the past and it was a complete disaster, I encourage you to give it another try. Except this time, employ all the tips and suggestions we are going to tell you. Let’s first quickly review the advantages of online dating
1.) You can find and meet way more guys – Offline, you can meet guys at the bar, through mutual friends, at work, or through a random men counter at the grocery store, the gym, etc. But what if your Mr Perfect lives on the other side of town, doesn’t ever visit your gym or your favorite pub, and doesn’t have any friends in common? By going online, you’re able to access a whole lot more guys that you wouldn’t otherwise be able to meet or interact with.
2.) You can target your search – We’ve worked with some coaching clients who are only interested in dating men who share their religious beliefs, for example. And dating websites let you narrow your search to like-minded guys, so you can join a site for Christians, for instance, and then you’ll know before you even meet a guy that he’s going to meet that criteria. There are weird niche dating sites out there, too.
3.) You don’t have to put in much effort – No need to get dolled up and hit the club to meet guys if you’re using a dating site. Once you create a good profile, you can sit back and wait for men to message you. (Now, that’s not always the best way to meet guys online, but it’s definitely possible, because there are way more men on dating websites than there are women.
4.) You can do your homework before the first date – You know what sucks? Showing up at a blind date that your friend shave set up for you, only to discover your ‘date’ looks like a shabby, balding troll and has a personality to match. With online dating, you can at least chat with a guy and learn a bit about him before you agree to meet in person, which reduces the chance of a tragic first date.
Now, let’s move talk about some of the things you should do to maximize your chance of meeting your soulmate online. These are all ‘best practices’ and if you’re at all serious about using dating sites to meet guys, then we strongly encourage you to put them all into practice. Choose the website wisely. As I mentioned, there are hundreds of dating sites out there, and some are better than others.
5.) The “matchmaking algorithms” that some dating sites advertise are generally pretty useless, but they do have one advantage: they weed out the creeps who are just looking to get laid, because most of those losers are too lazy to spend an hour filling out questionnaires. Similarly, if you’re looking for a long-term relationship and not just someone to hookup with, then choose a paid dating site rather than one of the free ones, because anyone willing to pay for a subscription is going to be a lot more serious about finding love online.
6.) Build a great profile – Writing a good profile isn’t as hard as you might imagine. First, choose the right photo that means choosing a picture that’s flattering, but not obviously unrealistic or provocative, if you’re looking for a husband guy, ladies, then your profile pic should not be 90% cleavage. It’s also never a bad idea to upload 1 or2 photos of you with other good-looking guys, friends, exes, etc. This subtly conveys the message that you’re desirable and wanted by men, and subconsciously makes you more attractive in the eyes of any guys looking at your profile. As for the actual profile itself, don’t overthink things. It’s OK to leave out certain details that aren’t so flattering, or to be a bit vague (especially when it comes to personal details), but don’t outright lie in your profile write up. All that does is lead to awkward, disappointing first dates. Keep it brief, highlight a few of your more attractive qualities without bragging, and try to mix in a joke. Instead of making mistake, just use proper spelling and real sentences, OK?
7.) Don’t automatically delete all the random messages you receive on dating sites. Yes, we know it can be overwhelming to have 25 new messages arrive each day, especially if most of them are absolute garbage. Scan your inbox for messages that look even remotely like a possibility, and read the message and view the guy’s profile before you trash it. If you’d be a great catch for any man – and we are sure you would be! then you’re bound to receive messages from normal, quality men every now and then.
8.) Put in some effort. We know that online dating takes almost no effort on your part, but that’s not the best way to use dating websites, in fact, you’ll have the most success if you browse through profiles and reach out to any guys that spark your interest. Don’t forget that online dating is totally different for guys, so unless a guy looks like Tom Crusie, his inbox is going to be empty. By taking the initiative and reaching out to all the guys who meet your criteria, you’re almost guaranteed to get responses from most of the guys you contact. Don’t be picky when it comes to who you contact, especially at first. But, that said, do be careful any time you see a profile that looks too good to be true. We hate to break it to you ladies, but it’s unlikely that someone with a fitness magazine physique claiming to be a brain surgeon and philanthropist is really who he says he is. Don’t bother with any guys whose profiles look fishy or too perfect.
9.) Exchange a few messages before you agree to meet in person. Don’t have a 6-month pen pal relationship with a guy before your first date, because research has shown that too much talk before meeting a man is actually a bad thing. But you do want to get some basic info about the guy, can he read and write like an adult? Does he have a job? A sense of humour? Is he looking for a ‘casual fling’ or a ‘serious relationship’? After you get a sense of that basic stuff, if you’re still interested, call him and ask to meet for coffee. The sooner you meet him in person, the sooner you’ll be able to decide if he’s a waste of time or a worthy of another date.
10.) Be smart when planning the first in-person meeting. First of all, always insist on having your first date with a guy you meet online in a public setting. Meet for coffee at Starbucks, a bar after work, go bowling, etc. This is a no-brainer for your own safety. Secondly, you want to make sure you have an easy, believable escape plan in case the date is a disaster. Meeting for coffee, for instance, doesn’t require you to commit to spending a couple of hours with this guy, like going to a movie would. If things are going well, you can turn a coffee date into a dinner date, but you can also bail after 20 minutes and it won’t be weird. Another excellent way to do this is to ask a friend to call you 10 or 15 minutes into the date, so that if you need a way out, you can pretend it’s your boss on the phone and use that as an excuse to bail early. Or, if things are going well, you can just ignore the call completely. Now, to be perfectly honest, a lot of women can get to this point on their own. These all stuff we’ve told you is hardly a rocket science. But when it comes to the second date, or turning a casual fling into a real relationship, that’s where things go sour for a ton of women. even really beautiful, successful women often struggle to get men to commit or keeping guys from losing interest.
Those are the biggest advantages of online dating, but there are also a few drawbacks.
-Most importantly, personal safety – Much like the offline world, there are some creepy dudes with bad intentions on dating sites, so you need to be careful not to disclose too many personal details and be cautious when you first meet in person. Follow basic safety stuff like that, and you’ll be fine.
-A second drawback of online dating is actually the same as one of the advantages we have already discuss, you’ve got your choice of thousands of men online. That’s a good thing, but it’s also a bad thing if it leads to you being way too picky so, resist the temptation to delete messages from men who don’t exactly match your idea of the perfect guy. Scientists call this the “tyranny of choice,” but we personally think it’s generally a good problem to have OK.