45 TIPS TO KEEP YOUR RELATIONSHIP STRONG AND HAPPY
If you are looking for tips to keep your relationship strong and happy for long lasting than you are among the best people. Marriage advice can be tricky. Every couple is different and what worked for your great-grandparents may be the complete opposite of what helps you and your significant other. But that doesn’t mean you can’t learn from all the love birds! Each long-term marriage has its own secret to success, and hearing tips from others may inspire you to find your own.
Take the tour of happy and strong relationship journey –
- HAVE YOUR OWN HOBBIES – We’ve discovered it’s important to have independent hobbies and the freedom to do them without pressure or guilt from your spouse.
- DON’T LET THE KIDS TURN YOU AGAINST EACH OTHER – We always back each other up with decisions made for the kids and present a united front. Our kids learned a long time ago not to go to the other parent saying that he/she said it was okay.
- FIND A WAY TO SPLIT CHORES – How to share the household work is a hot button issue for many couples. We decided to figure out the day-to-day tasks the other absolutely hates to do and then swap them. If your spouse does the chore that makes you a complete pile of misery, you’ll appreciate it (and him!) even more.
- DON’T LET THE LITTLE THINGS OBSCURE THE BIGPICTURE – Never let your spouse leave the house without a kiss and an ‘I love you. ‘Life has no guarantees and they might not come home again. This also puts lots of little annoyances in perspective. For instance, when they snoring bugs you, remind yourself that it means he’s alive, he’s home, and he’s with you.
- NURTURE YOUR CONNECTION – Love, gratitude, compassion, because sometimes every man or every woman will drive their partner crazy, Family, Fun, Laughs, Sex. If you don’t nurture that, and remember, you’re done.
- DON’T ASK “WHAT’S IN IT FOR ME? – It’s a given that you should always look for ways to serve one another, but the trick is to do it without any expectations. Do it because you love each other, not because you expect something in return.
- IF TALKING DOESN’T WORK, TRY TEXTING – Do whatever it takes to keep the lines of communication open. When talking doesn’t work, send them an email, a text, or even a letter.
8.MAKE TIME FOR ROMANCE DAILY – Don’t stop doing the little things you did together when you first started dating. If you loved dancing and now also try to make time to dance together, even if it’s just in the kitchen try to do it while making dinner. It doesn’t hurt we live in wine country!
9. DON’T TALK TO YOUR PARTNER WHILE THEY’RE POOPING, secret to a happy marriage? Two words- separate bathrooms.
10. HAVE RULES FOR FIGHTING – Everyone disagrees sometimes but no matter how heated things get, never ever called your partners by names. It keeps a basic level of respect present.
11. BRING IT ON – Take every opportunity to touch each other, hold hands, snuggle, and get physical. It helps keep you bonded and you’ll feel better, thanks to the oxytocin rush!
12. You should KNOW WHEN TO STOP PUSHING A key to our marriage has been learning when to back off and give the other one some space. During an argument, when you eventually reach a point where the best thing is just to walk away and cool off. If you keep pushing, it leads to an explosion.
13. MAKE DATE NIGHT SACRED , Plan atleast one date night with each other in a week , try no one in your friend circle or family member will disturb you up in that date night . This will gives you a chance to reset whatever madness happened during the week (and there is always plenty!). This will become the glue that will keeps both of you togethe-
- SELF LOVE COMES FIRST Before loving someone else you need to first love yourself and know your worth. To find all the peace, love and joy within you heart is the key for any healthy relationship.
- STAY TRUE TO YOURSELF – When you first get married, it’s easy to start thinking of yourself as simply one half of a couple. But it’s important to remain an individual’s much as you are a sum of the equation. After all, that’s what attracted your spouse to you to begin with!
- RESPECT ALONE TIME – It’s as important to spend time apart as it is together. This gives each of us a chance to regroup and think and get some of our own things done. Then when we’re together, we can really focus on each other. Works for us!
- CHEER THEM ON – Be one another’s best and biggest cheerleader in whatever you are doing. And never say unkind things about him behind his back.
- RECOGNIZE THE REAL PROBLEM (It’s Not Your Spouse) Stress is often the source of contention, and it’s easy to blame your spouse or something they did. Instead, recognize what’s really bothering you and try not to take it out on them.
- LAUGH WITH THEM, NEVER AT THEM – Don’t ever laugh at your spouse. But find plenty of opportunities to laugh together. Don’t take life too seriously, challenges seem much more manageable when you have a partner to laugh with.
- PRACTICE COMMUNICATING – Being a good communicator doesn’t come naturally to many people, it’s a skill you have to hone. This means sitting down face to face and taking turns listening, understanding, and re-stating until both of you know you understand and are understood. If an issue is too difficult, you can postpone, but the person who asks for a rain check is the one responsible for deciding when the issue will be picked up again. Nothing builds trust and breaks down the me-versus-you thinking better.
- ALWAYS REMEMBER: YOU’RE IN THIS TOGETHER – We are a team. We look at each other as a team. I never think he’s against me, even when he’s arguing with me. I know his heart. I know he supports me.
- SLEEP APART, TOGETHER – Three words: King Size Bed. We learned early on in our marriage that there has to be room for all three of us — me, my husband and my body pillow. That way we both wake up rested and happy.
- LOVE WHAT THEY LOVE – is really important to the other should be your priority, too. Value their passions, goals, interests, and needs and decide you will just absolutely support them. This works best if they do the same for you, too.
- OUTDATED GENDER ROLES – Dudes: It’s not ‘babysitting’ if it’s your own kids. If you love them and you helped make them, then you help take care of them. It’s your job, too.
- BELIEVE IN YOUR RELATIONSHIP – Believe that you have an amazing marriage. Tell yourself that. Then use that feeling to cultivate appreciation, respect, and emotional autonomy while weeding out disdain and contempt. It becomes a self-fulfilling prophecy and you will have an amazing marriage.
- WE ARE EACH OTHER’S BEST FRIEND – This means we love to do things together and talk to each other. We tell things to each other we’d never tell anyone else. We trust each other with everything and have a sense of humour. We have common likes and are open to trying new things. It really comes down to knowing that no matter what, he has my back and I have his.
- CAN EVER USE THE NUCLEAR OPTION – Don’t ever mention the D word (divorce), even in jest.
- EXPRESS YOUR GRATITUDE – Don’t assume they know that you appreciate what they do. Say thank you for the little things. It makes you feel appreciated daily.
- BE POLITE – We are big on remaining polite with each other. Lots of pleases and thank yous. It’s the little things.
- BE PREPARED TO PUT IN THE WORK – Marriage requires effort and time and talking and connecting. You have to maintain it.
- GET PROFESSIONAL HELP WHEN YOU NEED IT – There is absolutely no shame in getting marriage counselling. Even if you’re not on the edge, a good counsellor can help improve your marriage in so many ways.
- Mary and Jeff Rogers, married 17 years – TRY SEPARATE BEDROOMS – I think our trick is that we sleep in separate rooms. We work for the same company, so we drive to and from work together every day. We also have a side business that we do together. So we spend a lot of together time every day. Bedtime is that time of day that we can be alone. Not to mention, I don’t have to hear him snore, and he doesn’t have to listen to my nose whistle in the night, nor do I wake him up when I go to the gym at 6 a.m. And my room gets to be nice and neat and tidy, and I can close the door to his messy room. And sometimes we have sleepovers.
- SAY “YOU’RE RIGHT” – We have learned to let each other be right and admit it. You cannot, and are not, always right, so the sooner you realize that, the happier you’ll be. Saying ‘you are right’ can go a long way. And tone is key — no snarky when saying this or it does not count!
- JUST SAY NO – Don’t agree to do things you truly do not want to do just because your spouse wants you to. Bit by bit, resentment can build when you continually compromise your own joy. Instead, seek opportunities that you can both enjoy together and be comfortable enjoying activities alone when your partner doesn’t feel the same way about them. It’s absolutely okay to compromise occasionally but doing it as a rule can erode the relationship.
- HAVE A PLAN – It’s important to have mutual goals and make a plan to reach them, together.
- SHOW RESPECT – Just respect each other. It really is that simple.
- GO TO BED TOGETHER – We go to bed at the same time most nights. It gives us the chance to recap the day, cuddle, and share stories.”—
- SUPPORT EACH OTHER’S EBBS AND FLOWS – A big key is giving each other the room to grow and change the rules. It’s hard, but Kev was always like, ‘Whatever you need, honey,’ and I admire him for that.
- FOCUS ON THE POSITIVE – Appreciate your partner for who they are and don’t dwell on things that you don’t care for. Never speak poorly about them to your friends or family. Don’t expect them to change; if you don’t like something, look within your own heart and ask what you can do. Finally, ask yourself daily, ‘How can I make my man/women feel uplifted?’ It’s important to be positive because what you give out comes right back to you.
- BE FINANCIALLY UNITED – Decide what dollar amount constitutes a ‘large purchase and then always consult with the other before making large-purchase decisions.
- PUT THEIR HAPPINESS OVER YOUR OWN – Truly want the other person to be happy and then prioritize their happiness. This could mean scheduling a getaway together, listening, or renewing your wedding vows. Like Rilke said. This is the miracle that happens every time to those who really love, the more they give, the more they possess.
- DON’T BE PETTY – We have a rule that we’re not allowed to ever say ‘I told you so. ‘Sometimes it is so hard to bite your tongue, but it is so worth it.
- KEEP AN OPEN DIALOGUE – Number one, never stop talking. Problems arise when people stop talking to each other. Laugh a lot, we crack each other up constantly! I do the best I can and I feel like that’s the way most people are. We do the best we can until we know how to do better.
- ACT, DON’T REACT – No matter how good it will feel in the moment, never do anything out of spite or to get back at the other person. It will only backfire and make things worse.
- Take care of yourself and your loved ones – Steps towards happy life!